these may as well be on a napkin…
…some notes (March 10th – March 16th, 2026):
slow, steady drumming
the undercurrent of trendsetters
falling into the abyss
the things a parent does, the lengths they go to, never ceases to amaze me
coffee & cigarettes for breakfast, lunch & dinner
maybe if i jus sit at the typewriter long enough, something will come of it
those hot dull afternoon hours… i almost miss the feeling of being sleepless at 2 a.m.
he wasn’t much of anything except for his writing
bitching… always bitching & moping around
three shots of Hennessy & a half pack of smokes will help most men face the day ahead or day before
i listen to the environment & read
what would you do if you had everything in the world & yet nothing at all?
loose ends to tie up… birds chirp & i know they’ll chirp again tomorrow. loose ends still to tie up.
a blessing would be weighing 169 again. i weigh about 198. we’ll work on it.
all i ever wanted was to hear the typewriter… clink clink clank clink
blink 182 on the radio & things feeling like 2016
turning on a record feels far more personal than shuffling music on your phone
guess it was all cool
nice spacious room
the records, the books
the kitchen & queen size bed
nice bathroom
nice neighborhood & all of that
maybe i’m already dead
and my heaven is here
deciphering wisdom is knowledge
the art of learning is in the intention
a good album is good for years on end
you can always come back to it
a day in the life:
wake up, take my pills
put a record on
& a snowboard film on YouTube with the sound off
write whatever, make lots of coffee
smoke throughout the day
play another record, this one then that one
write some more, read as much as possible
jus getting by
sometimes euphoric the boredom
depending on how i feel that day
go for a walk to 7eleven or Starbucks
it could all be so simple
wanna smoke this spliff in the backyard
take a hit, pass it then dip
sit in someone’s whip, cruise on the strip
then watch her strip
down the hatchet
one last go at it
nothing left but the dull middle zone
jus a bag of bones chilling at home
can’t even get stoned
phone stuck on dial tone, cell roams
sitting at the crib & hardly peaking
jus steady sleeping… up to nothing really
sedated off the pills
these days i’m hardly ever in my feelings
trickling of water in the shower
missing the days of Rocket Power
nothing hits like it used to
smoke a cigarette because what else should i do
i’m used to it, the feeling of being old news
all worn in & warped like this vinyl tune
place got some nice views
see you & wish we both knew
the bliss of each other’s warmth
cuddled in under the blankets
spring showers giving into harvest
your shoulder a place to rest
we escape down the old side streets
away from the formal exchange
to our secret spot out by the park
seemed a cool enough spot to smoke a cig
then we stopped by the corner store
picked up some coffee & a doughnut
whatever, just something to do
it was always whatever,
it was always jus something to do
listening to Elliot Smith
my life is all but over… my life has jus begun
where do i go from here?
maybe i should fast more often
give up porn, i guess, for spiritual reasons & to hopefully heal some of my chakras
i’m on a spiritual journey that requires me to stay off of my iPhone if i’m not writing
in my bag for you
reading more & sleeping in
listening to field medic at dawn
life’s such a feeble little romantic thing
rattling train tracks
the solemn brisk night
nowhere to go
lonesome crowded west
less is more
but sometimes more is more
either way
i jus want what’s needed
she was a dream
he never wanted to wake up from
you never had much to say
brewing coffee quietly
in the dozing morning kitchen
basking in the first hints of sunlight
you never had much to say
you jus conveyed everything
with a feeling
a deeply gentle, serene feeling
you never had much to say
to you, words were never enough
you’d look at me
& i’d instantly know how you felt
comfort of your sweater covered hands
as you rest them gently in mine
for a moment, a moment within forever
your kind of bond
the kind that never fades away
spoken into existence
not through words spoken,
instead almost purely via feelings
girls who rock dad hats almost always cute
bougie feminine nature
Jus Getting Started feel like OG Project Baby 2 Kodak
4evrglades4evrglades4evrglades4evrglades
nicotine, cash, rain falls, pitter patter pack
around the corner, loiterer
jus another fiend & a fifth
six hours later, nothing’s changed
six days later, nothing’s changed
six months… six years later, nothing’s changed
still about a bag & a bitch
still in my bag about 1000 of them
i miss you too much
numb my feelings cuz this shit all too much
over this, dust to dust
smoking till death,
smoking after it too
guess i been dead
what else is there to do?
nicotine, cash, rain falls, pitter patter pack
hit me up with the stacks & racks on racks
work on myself
save up to top shelf
sex sells, art doesn’t always
shit don’t matter if they don’t see the vision
let everything jus slide by
focus on the vision
pure gold, flash of crimson
the lord’s tears & ultimate redemption
we going up, don’t let nobody tell us different
glowing pains, adrenaline flow through veins
styrofoam cup of coffee & benzodiazepines
some light music, a little something to read
shows at night, cigs on the balcony
walks to the lake, coffee shop & gym
some late thing to crush on
expression of thought through art
the slow gentle ebbing flowing .wav of life
a good thought stuck in your head
God & family above all things
little smirk from a girl, kind words of a barista
space to breathe, create, process & decompress
meditative habitual ritual routine
igniting the spark to the match
unlocking spiritual consciousness & awareness
connection with humanity on a universal level
what else is there, if not experiences?
experience of the senses & mind, body & soul
creating an ecosystem
revolving around a calm nervous system,
chemical balance,
& universal alignment…
& jus vibing internally
with the universe externally
this life to the next, ups & downs are a certainty
we simply need to hold on & ride .wavs
catch a vibe,
cultivate & nurture whatever it is
so you peak more often than not
simply on atmospheric quality
innate sensitivity to energy
& a spiritual intuitiveness & insight
as well as self awareness & acceptance
with regards to the moment
you’ve arrived to & continually experience
jus existing as a key part of the whole cosmos
we are all keys to a universal portal
harnessing pure energy — eternally generating —
& a vibrant, high level collective consciousness
we are all beams of light
jus waiting in the wings to shine
glow angel baby… glow.
beam me up. beam us all up…
pick me up quick in the old ford bronco
bumping tunes smoking Marlboros
girls in it for a lil blow & a lot of dough
pull off the side of the road,
quick break, quick smoke
we used to feel better than the old folks
now i jus wanna be sitting pretty all alone
the rocking chair with no thoughts on the dome
nowhere to go
because i’m stoked
i’m doing my thing & feel at home
Over & over, playing an age old song
Looking around like what else is there to see
I’ve seen a lot of pretty faces in this life
Some not so pretty ones too
And i feel worn out from all of it
Weary of popular media
The whole thing’s played out
Of course, a lot of things
Can be seen more than once
Felt more than once
Heard more than once
I jus want to experience some things
For the first time again
And not feel as though
— As much as i’m through with the whole thing —
So too, the whole thing’s also through with me
dwell space, save face, first date
what’s with the rat race?
tired of the chase
smoking a cigarette
phoebe bridgers, ace of spades
you in the crowd
smoke signals, calling your name
aloof, standoffish vibe
sorry for being kind of an outcast
in it on the ride home, music blasting
you were everything, everlasting at the time
now i’m jus left with this cigarette
& all of these Dylan Thomas memories
damaged, broken brain
listen to Jelly Roll to ease the pain
jus want the drugs
because i ain’t ever had no love
sure i’ve had love, in reality
but i can’t feel that shit
i need something i can feel
vast open space high up in the mountains
find some shade to rest your mind in
zen isn’t about what we do
it’s about how empty our head is
finding relief in an empty mind
clearing out space, rid of clutter
awakening the inner sanctuary
˚☽˚.⋆ 
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