Makeout Hill
craving an ending of sorts
craving everything for the first time again
wanting subtle contact with her thighs
wanting the apocalypse of her lips against mine
desperate to feel anything
caught in between nowhere & Heaven
she could make me melt in the cold
she could also kill me instantly
Heaven opens up the gates to the angels
the angels invite a few of the common folk
smoke rises from a gothic castle
cathedrals chime the morning bells
the debts have been forgiven & forgotten
sins of the flesh dissipate
thoughts clear without effort
mind enhancing absorption
some bitter substance
a misty fog flows in from all sides
a holy purifying element in the air
maybe an incense of some kind
lightness of breath & being
souls free, no longer Earth’s prisoners
everybody’s at Makeout Hill
no need to be anywhere else
no need to do anything beyond makeout
a full on festival of lights & music surrounds it
the whole place beams up peacefully
pure energy, calming buzz & sublime electricity
the atmosphere beckons each one’s arrival
soul mate awaits another of the same kind
all we ever needed to do was makeout
makeout & vibe to the music
forever & ever
soul to soul, drawn to irrevocably & boundlessly
till they lay in the cozy foothills
cradled in one another’s arms
soothingly resting to the after hours music
before long, the sun comes up over the hill
& the cathedral chimes its morning bells
birds down by the lake flutter in the trees
chirping & singing their tunes at first light
& cafés on street corners downtown open up
many still lay up on Makeout Hill
Before long though, most head for some coffee
soul mates together wherever, even when apart
smoking something almost beyond Heavenly
not quite any kind of substance found on Earth
the angelic smoke of wizards in lands far away
mountain peaks glistening in the distance
quick to universally maneuver from place to place
a way of nearly floating about the way clouds do
to be an angelic creature
infinitely blessed & grateful Heavenly Beings
gifted with clarity & mindfulness
incredibly blissful feelings
soothingly elevated states of consciousness
angels that at one time lived on Earth
perspective in the humbling realm down below
allowed them a perspective on the whole thing
to more intricately appreciate the Heavenly realm
first was the garden
second was the fall
third was life, the truth of which is suffering
fourth was afterlife in the Heavenly Realm
the reason for & meaning of life
so that…
with perspective on the truth of reality
and on tragedy & heartbreak,
pain & the ever fleeting feelings of joy…
once we made it to the Heavenly Realm
we’d never have a reason to fall again
either through suffering, faith, or lessons learned
we could eventually regain access to Heaven
to feel what angels feel & do what soul mates do
we may have lost paradise in the Garden
but were still given grace & blessed in many ways
with the opportunity to experience life
in all of its highs & lows, peaks & valleys
the way it acts as a tragic comedy
in all of its melancholy & spurts of ecstasy
finding ways to both soften & harden us
embracing us in something heart warming
& equally crushing us in its devastating little ways
a zen Buddhist seeking Nirvana within suffering
the balancing element of Yin Yang
jus enough dark to see
and the Heavenly Father
teaching us how to suffer ultimately the most
with grace, dignity & a sense of deep compassion
even for those who hurt us the most
still finding ways to understand all individuals
in the end, we know not what we do
but ultimately this life of suffering
teaches us the meaning of something higher
the fall to a somewhat lowly place
where we could gain perspective via suffering
so upon entering the Heavenly Realm
we’d hopefully never fall quite the same way again
finally rekindling the spark of our lost crush
somewhere in the abyss
whether at Makeout Hill or the local coffee shop
with the music playing out & lights twinkling
doves fluttering, angelic creatures dancing
smoke rising from a gothic castle
cathedrals chiming the morning bells
debts forgiven & forgotten
sins of the flesh dissipated
thoughts clear without effort
mind enhancing absorption
some bitter substance
a misty fog flowing in from all sides
a holy purifying element in the air
maybe an incense of some kind
lightness of breath & being
souls free, no longer Earth’s prisoners
listen to yourself
what you wear & how you feel
everything slowed down around you
necessity of some luxuries
smoke & caffeine
society as a whole is a poison, true art the cure
searching for the fix within
God in each of us
thinking about our parents, how they tried
efforts to cope
vice reels in the years
i know nothing, soul so much more than dust
body rots to ash, soul escapes to Heaven
flow of nature, mind’s eternal rest
selfish & selfless at the same time
do what we gotta
to get off the street & out the mud
standstill culture
drugs on the nightstand
pack in my pocket
acceptance of defeat & death
rid of some curse, hex & stress
blessed in jus being
spliff undertones
to be nothing & feel something
forest serenely whispers
don’t bite or buy into anything
lie sellers
i’ll shop someplace else
some Heavenly marketplace
Grounded in Something
Down to nothing again
Sipping coffee, stepping into sin
The girls fucked behind your back
I was getting high behind the scenes
She went down, he went up
Blunts 6 feet below anything
Pure neutrality of cigarettes
Don’t make the Lord jealous
What’s Heavenly? What’s angelic?
All But Dead, All But Dead
Depletion & Repletion
Laugh at the never ending joke
The cross hung on the wall & her neck
Goth nose ring lullaby
Die over & over again… all bark, no bite
Give up, smoke a cigarette & repeat
She’s not yours, jus yours today
Deus Ex Machina
Sometimes it’s best to do absolutely nothing
Give it all up for one thing
Talk about the mundane
Listlessly scroll
Hear the click clack of keys
Jingle jangle of the tinkering wind
Noises & Subliminal Stirrings of Mother Nature
We are the reincarnate earth manifested
We are nothing but a seed’s fruition
Loosely universal interconnected consciousness
Lord knows i tried
Back to the dirt
Smoke stacks, leaf lit, stung by the briar
Breath lost & found
Hovering around some social scene
Flawed perfection
Soul’s performance
Distance of a crush
Eternal womb
Bond of humanity
So far from God, yet so close as well
Sunken silence
Hallowed cries, joys, laughter, yearnings, etc.
To flee to distant lands
Dwell together apart
Differences between us only superficial
nothing & everything
i get up early & make a coffee, light up a smoke jus trying to open up my eyes. i hardly think at all in the morning. by the time night rolls around, i’m thinking about the girls lost along the way & how i kinda wish i could be staying up all night with friends bumping music & lines & drinking until the break of dawn. but always, without fail, morning comes around & i doze around my apartment jus trying to catch my bearings & manage my way around the kitchen, brewing up a quick coffee.
everyday seems to pass the same, the daily errands & routines we have to attend to, like working out, doing laundry, taking out trash, buying groceries, cleaning up around the house, working a 9-5 or on whatever you got to put your mind to & all of that. i read, write, listen to music, watch some show i’ve been binging & usually at some point head to 7-eleven to buy two cute little airplane shots & 2 24oz cans of light beer & a pack of smokes & maybe a nitro cold brew too, the Starbucks one. i step out of the store & go around the back to where the dumpster is in the back & pull out the two airplane shots — most likely 99 brand, a mini Jack Daniel’s, or UV Blue vodka — sipping them quick, throwing them in the dumpster & opening up the nitro cold brew as chaser or whatever the chaser happens to be at the moment, whether that’s one of those pink Monster drinks or coffee or Yerba or the limited edition Red Bulls they have. 7-eleven really has the whole thing dialed & i love my trips there. i head back, light up a Camel & stroll back home.
cute girls everywhere. cigarette smoke in the air. the city runs like clockwork. sex, drugs, booze, casinos, music, libraries, pools & spas, salons, bars, residences, schools, parks, restaurants, gyms, coffee shops, places to be… money exchanges between this & the next & all kinds of people are dying to experience all sorts of things.
i’m a burnout. been a burnout. i lean back in my seat & sip my coffee & read some poetry & ponder humanity. what burns us up inside? the girls. the drugs. a good line in a song. some poetic verse. comfort. touch of another. first & second shot of booze. third sip of tea. warmth of a hoodie on a cold afternoon. glimmer of sunlight.
i reckon we need a break from time to time. time away from love, the loves lost, the afflictions. time away to contemplate the infinite singularity of all. time makes us weary. time makes us bitter. all of us become jaded with age. but perspective on the poetry & music of the whole thing rejuvenates us. we must always keep something to look forward to & hold near & dear loved ones to our hearts & be grateful for every moment, with or without meaning, the moments time stands still & the ones where we blink & in a blur it passes us by.
i look to the white capped mountains. I smoke beneath the moon. i embrace the sun’s glow. clouds drift. water drips on the leaves of plants, seeping into the soil as my afternoon tea seeps.
pills from the pharmacy, seeds from the plant nursery, weed from the dispensary, drugs on the street corner, drip coffee from the café & bakery, clothes & accessories at retail shops, books in the library, vinyls at record stores & everything else at markets & corner stores & a millions other shops. we all need something. we really aught to be content with what we got. we think too much. we burden ourselves & overwhelm ourselves. all the days sleep walking through it all, tired from the endless days & months & years & years before.
breathe in. breathe out. inhale, exhale. time heals all wounds. all things pass eventually. go heal one day at a time. one thing at a time. treat yourself as kindly as possible. dive into art pretty frequently. slow things down. decompress. read. rest. listen to yourself, to Mother Nature, to a record that pertains specifically to you at the moment. lean into your feelings & the situation at hand & find ways to navigate & cruise through each chapter.
Spliff in the Alley
Tea cures my head
Meditate to some vinyl
Spliff to heal past trauma
Dog barks at its reflection
i sink into the whole thing
Internet master
Emotional shawty
Smoke bandit
Never ending tragedy
Never ending comedy
Leaves in the dirt
We all know about the same
Counting my losses
Invest in the grave
Drugs & girls ruined my life
Drugs & girls saved my life
˚☽˚.⋆ 
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